The British. Surely the only nation on earth repressed enough to find an erotic fascination in Hospitals. Having spent my fair share in them, I can report that unless you like the idea of not having a shower for two weeks, smelling old mens poo and being violently de-catheterised, you’re unlikely to find being in hospital the high point of your erotic life.

love and text 5

Which doesn’t stop a highly unrealistic portrayal of the NHS being the lead story in this pornographic comic from the eighties. It’s not often one comes across a pornographic comic (matron!) especially one as gloriously badly written as this. The story entitled ‘The Return of the Legendary Hotrod Sex Vampire’ distinguishes itself particularly as making no sense what-so-ever.

Whether this comic succeeds as a piece of titillation is questionable, particularly off putting is the bizarre (over) rendering of the erect male genitalia which resemble enchanted tree roots. I feel sorry for any child who may have accidentally caught sight of these illustrations thirty years ago as their adult life may have been blighted by them.

As is often the case with old comics, the best bits are the adverts in the back. As one might expect in this case they advertise premium rate sex lines, but they offer a window onto a quaint pre-internet world free from the depressing, ubiquitous, aggressive misogyny that characterises main stream pornography in the present day. ‘Spank my hot bot’ beseeches one lady, dressed in attire that would scarcely raise an eyebrow in church. ‘I’m a former stripper’ says another ‘listen to my very naughty talk’. Ah, bless.


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